In any case, in our email debates, I have repeated several times that I was NOT notified of an interest rate change, to which she has consistently (and quite stubbornly) replied that her records indicate one was mailed.  WELL THEN.  I’m sorry, I must have accidentally shredded this very important piece of paper that told me you were going to more than DOUBLE my interest rates and that I had 30 days to protest said changes before they went into effect.  RIGHT.  (In case any credit card representatives from this unnamed company are reading… this was EXTREME sarcasm, not to be read as any form of agreement that said paper was EVER in my hands!)

Of course, as I was writing my latest argument with this woman, it occurred to me that really, I was engaging in a battle I could not possibly win because I was shouting in the wind at an entire system that was corrupt.  I found the woman’s arguments to be absurd.  When I stated that I never received the notice, she countered that it was mailed.  When I stated that the hike was unreasonable in any case, she said the company had the right to do anything they wanted, so long as they notified me in writing.  When I reiterated that I received nothing in writing, she again stated it was mailed, starting the ridiculous cycle all over again.  When I questioned the intelligence of anyone believing that I would be okay with a 7% interest hike, and brought into question the ethics of presuming my agreement based solely upon my LACK of a response, rather than, say, receiving a signed agreement from me, she claimed that her company’s “business practices are continuously reviewed to ensure we provide valued services and remain competitive in our business”.   Umm… anyone else notice a distinct lack of response to the question of their ethics?  Instead of insisting this company adheres to ethical business practices, she instead insists they are … competitive?  Oh, and that they provide valuable services?  You bet they do.  To those who are desperate, and to people like me, who are weak. 

Am I the only one who is sick and tired of the business practices of corporate America?  I think in the end, I am mostly annoyed at myself, though.  After all, I hate credit card companies and everything they stand for, and yet… here I am, sitting on my new bedroom furniture bought with a Nebraska Furniture Mart credit card, typing on a laptop purchased with a Dell credit card, snug in my grumpy sweatshirt paid for by Chase VISA. 

Yep.  There is absolutely no denying that I am most definitely part of the problem.

I want to know who thought it would be a good idea to make the submission window for the contest last TWO WEEKS and then allow those who have already MADE their submissions to edit, change, and otherwise revise/perfect those same submissions right up until the moment the submission period is closed.  Don’t they understand that this means I get to obsess over EVERY SINGLE WORD of my submission for a full TWO WEEKS?  Just accept my submission and be done with it!  Don’t put me through this crazed insanity of “maybe I should have said this instead” or “maybe I should re-read the entire 218 page novel again, just to make sure there aren’t any typos or glitches or obvious flaws in the plot” or even better “maybe I should re-write the first 70 pages of the novel because it’s just not as exciting as the last 150… after all, who cares about character development?”

ARGH!  I truly believe this contest was designed to send hopeful would-be authors into early retirement.  It’s clearly a ploy to weed out the crazies who would otherwise be bombarding overworked literary agents with the “greatest thing they ever wrote”.   Now these agents have a few months of freedom while the crazies bombard the contest instead.  Of course, even better for the agents is when the process of submit, obsess, edit, obsess, edit, obsess, wait, obsess, wait, wait, wait, obsess, wait, obsess, obsess, obsess, wait … drives those same hopeful crazies into a downward spiral of drunken foolishness, and their literary (pseudo-) genius is lost forever.  One less query letter to read, one less manuscript to file in the recycling bin.

Save me from my (blue arrow like) swirling thoughts of craziness!

11:26 p.m.  ARGH!  Lots of difficulty getting the webpage to load correctly!  Finally am getting somewhere… now waiting for my DESCRIPTION (not the pitch, but the DESCRIPTION) to load.  Description isn’t even anything to be seen by judges, but necessary for if / when the novel’s excerpt is available for review by Amazon public.

11:27 p.m. ARGH!  It’s still working to load the description.  Is this normal?  What if it’s stuck in a loop and never stops pretending to load????  It’s only 212 words, people!  HELP!

whimper…

11:29 p.m. I can’t move on.  I’m stuck waiting for Part I to save, so that I can move on to Part II, which is still NOT the uploading of all my materials, but is my contact information.  Can’t go to part II until part I gets loaded.  ARGH!!!  Oh my god, the anxiety I am experiencing canNOT be good for my health!

11:31 p.m. I’m starting to get really paranoid.  What if in those 16 minutes I was busy lesson planning, 5,000 other people were uploading their manuscripts?  WHAT IF I’VE MISSED MY CHANCE??????  AAAAAHHHHH!

11:33 p.m. Ummm…. really?  This many minutes to save 212 words?  Something’s wrong.  My carefully worded description has hacked the entire Amazon Breakthrough Novel system and I’ve ruined this process for myself AND 4,999 other crazed hopefuls.  Oh save me!

11:35 p.m.  What on EARTH am I going to do when it’s trying to upload my MANUSCRIPT?  I think I might die of the anxiety before I even reach the pitch stage.  This is ABSURD.  I’ve lost all sense of reality.  I’m stuck in some alternate universe where the entirety of my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness hinges on the acceptance of the DESCRIPTION of my novel! 

11:36 p.m.  Seriously.  How do I know if it’s not working?  I mean the silly blue arrow keeps on a-swirlin’, but nothin’s happening!

11:39 p.m.  Hey, great news!  I found the spot where all the other 4,999 crazed hopefuls are hanging out and some of them have been staring at a blue swirlin’ arrow for 30 minutes!  So, hey, 13 minutes, not so bad… of course, that means I have at least another 17 to go and this is only part I of IV.  ARGH!!!!

11:43 p.m. Bored now… just think of all the lesson planning I could be doing… if only I weren’t riveted to this little blue arrow.

11:48 p.m. Still in blue arrow manic depressive mode… I bet you’re bored now too, aren’t you?  Pretty soon I’m going to have to put in the Buffy musical episode, just so that I can sing my way through this farce.

 11:57 p.m. I’m officially panicked.  Half the crazed people are all “I’m in — goodnight and good luck” and the other half of the crazed people are all “blue arrow - blue arrow - blue arrow - blue arrow - blue arrow - blue arrow”.  Wanna guess which category I’m in???  And all those people who are “in” — ARGH!  They’re part of that 5,000!!!  What if 4,999 other people say they’re “in” and just when I’m about to say “I’m in!” some other crazed blue arrow person hijacks my in-slide and steals my slot???

12:07 a.m. OMG.  One of the crazies suggested hitting refresh, which I did… with great fear I might add, as I was certain it was going to do EXACTLY what it did… all my info, gone, in a flash.  I sighed and began again.

12:08 a.m.  Accidentally hit backspace key, backspaced away from page.  ARGH!!!  Loaded page again, entered part I’s info again, hit save and…

 12:09 a.m. Blue swirly arrow appears for two seconds, then WHAM!  On to part II.  Thank you, thank you, thank you to the refresh god.

12:10 a.m. Entered contact info, saved, hallelujah, on to Part III!

12:11 a.m.  Uploaded pitch successfully… everything hinges on the pitch.

 12:12 a.m.  Pasted excerpt successfully… re-read, looks good… everything hinges on the excerpt.

12:13 a.m.  Attached manuscript successfully… everything TRULY hinges on the manuscript.

12:14 a.m.  Uploading excerpt…. SUCCESS!

12:15 a.m. Uploading manuscript…

12:16 a.m. SUCCESS!

12:17 a.m. Accepted contest rules and regulations.  Hit submit entry and… SUCCESS!

12:17 a.m. Received official email from createspace.com welcoming me as one of the 5,000 manic writers. 

 12:29 a.m. In case you’re wondering what happened between 12:17 and 12:29 a.m., it went something like this:

                                 Gasp!  “I’m in.”  Shocked staring ensues.  Twelve minutes later…

 12:29 a.m. cont. Cats wake me from a self-induced state of shock.  Time for bed where I will undoubtedly agonize over my submission and wish that I had changed this word or that…. I live in fear of February 25th.

Am I the only one who gets annoys at Borders yearly book drive that is supposedly charitable in content, but is deceptively self-serving? They encourage customers to buy kids books that they then donate to a literacy organization Borders has chosen.… As a teacher, I am ALL FOR THIS. However, as far as I can tell, Borders donates no proceeds to these organizations, nor offers a matching gift either.

In fact, one year I tried to bring in brand new books that I am able to purchase through my school for AWESOME prices and they refused to take them (not purchased at Border’s you know). I’m sorry, but Borders is making a significant profit on these sales and sure, it’s great that they’re willing to help these charities (and I applaud the … Read Moregenerosity of EVERYONE willing to purchase a book and donate it), but is it too much to ask for Borders to match the donations? Their employees have told me that “sometimes” they match donations, but EVERY time they have a drive, I call a local Borders and ask the same questions — do you do a matching donation, do you donate a percentage of proceeds… and every time, the answer is NO. The only thing Borders does is organize the drive and ship the books off to whatever charity they are currently sponsoring. Big of them. But I say, when you’re a corporation of the magnitidue of Borders, it’s NOT ENOUGH.

Don’t get me wrong. I think these book drives are a GREAT thing and they certainly help many wonderful charities and brighten children’s lives, BUT…why does Border’s expect its customers to donate more than it is willing to? Think about it! With this one purchase, you are giving your hard-earned money to Borders and a children’s book to a worthy… Read More organization. Wouldn’t it be better to just write a check directly to that organization? Why are we so gullible? Because, quite frankly, the American public has a capacity for generosity that is unparalleled the world over. Thank GOD our greedy corporations are not representative of our own individual natures. As for me, I think I’ll just continue to hand deliver my donations and to donate my time to worthy causes. And, of course, when I do choose to spend my $ within Border’s hallowed walls, rest assured that I will not be deluding myself. I will be quite content in the knowledge that I am participating in mainstream corporate America.